The election the USA has just gone through provides you with another effing opportunity to grow.
To start with, you get to study the grief cycle from the inside.
So I notice, I spend time in DENIAL. Shock, stunned, and numb are other ways to describe this state.
ANGER – I find everything irritates me. Blame is a subset of anger. I blame all sorts of thing for the election results. None of it needs to be based in fact, by the way. I am upset disproportionately to the stimulus. Sasha put the plastic spatula in the dishwasher – grrrr. She’s supposed to hand wash it, so I can use it in the morning.
Across the country, people have taken to the streets.
BARGAINING, maybe they will find a loophole and have to run the election again. Oh, it won’t be as bad as I think. Etc. It’s a form of denial really, where I minimize the problem.
Although not a part of the usual stages of grieving, FEAR seasons my days, and the whole grief pattern. All fears tell the lie, “You can’t handle it.” You can handle it. You have handled everything you have ever feared, for here you are. Right.
Addictions rear their heads. Suzanne, gazed longingly at a bottle of Kahlua at Trader Joe’s for five seconds today. She doesn’t drink, or hasn’t in years. I had passing thoughts about returning to drink again after 28 years. Another friend wanted a cigarette after not smoking for 33 years.
Whilst exiting the pharmacy, I walk through the candy aisle. All my old friends were there – Three Musketeers, Milky Ways, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. My first addictions called and made promises.
I haven’t reached SADNESS yet. But Suzanne burst into tears disproportionate to the stimulus.
ACCEPTANCE is where peace happens. Acceptance is not agreement or approval. It just means you see the event for what it is, and move on. Move on by addressing those things you can change.
Recall the serenity prayer and use it liberally –
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
|We can’t change most things. It’s OK. Do what you can.The formula:
2. Get off of social media and other media until you feel better, i.e. strong.
3. Exercise. Eat well. Don’t fall down the addiction holes.
4. Spend time in presence, in nature. Keep your mindfulness practices up. Make art, write poetry.
5. Allow the next right action to arise from that Sacred place of stillness, wordlessness, and oneness.
6. Act on that impulse.
7. Take naps.
From Martha Beck:
May you be happy, wild, and free,
P.S. These books will help with mindfulness and happiness.